KERAVNOS STRIKE GOLD AS ROVERS RUN OUT OF STEAM

Two goals, no reply, and Steelworks looking about as sharp as a butter knife! Keravnos FC have sent a message to the rest of the division: they're not here to make up the numbers. Meanwhile, Rovers' gaffer will be having stern words over the post-match steak and kidney pie.

=== RESULTS ===

Keravnos FC 2-0 Steelworks Rovers — Home side running riot while visitors forget which end to attack!

=== SCANDAL SHEET ===

Clean sheets all round this week, readers — and we're not talking about the laundry! Not a single brown envelope spotted, no referees driving suspiciously new motors, and nobody's chairman caught lurking in car parks with bulging jacket pockets. What's the game coming to? Don't worry though, we'll keep our eyes peeled. Someone's bound to slip up by next Tuesday.

Remember, folks: where there's smoke, there's usually a cigar-chomping chairman trying to cover his tracks!